Pedestal Tables, Cheese Logs, and Walking Out

Oh, I f***in' hate restaurants that only have f***in' tables and booths with pedestals in the middle. It's bullshit. You gotta f***in' push two tables together, you gotta move chairs, you gotta sit in the middle.

You know who's f***in' horrible at that shit? Cody's f***in' Roadhouse. I love Cody's Roadhouse, but their f***in' wooden tables are horrible for f***in' chairs.

And the other restaurant I hate their f***ing tables at: I used to like to go to this place. This place was good. They got all the old-fashioned candy and stuff in there. It's by the highway all the time. Cracker Barrel.

They're f***ing horrible. You can't even pull halfway in. You gotta put your plate halfway off the table and eat on your lap.

I mean, they'll move a table, but all their tables are the same. They all got the f***ing bar in the middle underneath. They don't have any accessible tables. Same thing with Cody's.

They don't want us there, because we're in the f***ing way all the time when they got people crowded out their f***ing door. At least at Cody's, anyway.

Yeah, I got people that come in town, and they love Cody's. Cody's is the go-to. And it's cheap, too. Well, relatively, steakhouse-wise.

The steak. Medium rare.

You always get the loaded potato or you get the salad. The salads are always good. The loaded potato's good. I like the beans and rice sometimes. Sometimes their beans and rice taste funny, but most of the time it's pretty good.

Oh, the cheese logs. Those are some f***ing cheese logs right there, man. Appetizer, of course.

And then you get that bread with the cinnamon butter and shit, and then you fill up on f***ing bread.

Cracker Barrel's actually been f***ing empty lately. Last time we went to Cracker Barrel, I got pissed and left because of the f***ing tables. We sat down and everything, too. And then I was like, you know what? F*** this.

They let us go. We didn't order anything. I was that irritated. I was like, f*** this. I'm not sitting here in this f***ing place. They should have a f***ing table for us.

Their tables are all f***ing like picnic tables or whatever. They got the f***ing bar in the middle. They're all wood, they're heavy, they're f***ing obnoxious.

Usually, if they got a base, it's fine. Push 'em together, you can get in there. But their bases are so f***ing big on the bottom that you can't even get your feet up over the bases. So you can't sit at their f***ing tables.

They suck.